devilspirit: (Default)
2023-05-04 10:21 pm

(no subject)

And what I really don't understand is how come everyone else isn't screaming with, with boredom, too, and I try to find ways to make myself feel something. More, and more, and more, but it doesn't make any difference. No matter what I do, I don't feel anything. I hurt myself; it doesn't hurt. I buy what I want; I don't want it. I do what I like; I don't like it.
🔪 🔪 🔪
devilspirit: (Default)
2022-05-29 03:04 pm

about.


THE MAN.

Born Jang Hanseok. Henry Jang for the half of his life spent in America. Jang Joonwoo during his time as a legal intern in South Korea. Something illusory, shapeless.

Diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder at sixteen years old and shipped off to the United States to get him out of the public eye following the murders of four classmates, Hanseok occupies the furthest extreme of the ASPD spectrum. As of two years ago he's back in Korea and has publicly stepped up as the real CEO of Babel Group, a corrupt pharmaceuticals and chemical manufacturing company. Charismatic when he wants to be, superb at imitating things neurotypical people feel that he simply can't—compassion, empathy, remorse, guilt—and willing to kill whoever he needs to kill without hesitation. Someone who delights in violence and gore, who needs to have control over everything all the time. If he doesn't, he falls to pieces. A thirty-year-old man who still struggles with regulating his intense emotions and violent urges; prone to angry, destructive outbursts when upset and over the top laughter and physical affection when he's happy. A shapeshifter, someone who sees who he needs to be in any given situation and adjusts his efforts accordingly, always controlling just how much of his true self he allows to seep through the cracks.

Despite all of this, he has, in his own words, "human emotion". He hurts when any other person would hurt, he craves attention and company. He has a need for affection, approval, and will go to extremes to feel seen. Hanseok's drawn to small reflections of himself in others: he enjoys the presence of other violent, callous people because he can identify with them. Love for him happens as an all-consuming fixation; though he cannot empathize with a partner, he can feel distress that one of the handful of people he likes is unhappy; he describes himself as capable of love. His experience as someone with ASPD in a largely neurotypical society is, with the exception of encountering people with similar tendencies, a profoundly solitary one: even if he doesn't see himself as having any problems—and instead believes himself superior to most other people—he's self-aware enough to recognize that he's different, that there are experiences other people have that will always be out of his reach. He wants to be comforted when he's hurt; he can't maintain the relationships needed for someone to willingly do so. He wants someone to willingly spend time with him; he can't control his outbursts and violent urges long enough for any company to feel at ease in the presence of his true self. He was built with just enough humanity to share the emotions and needs of his counterparts without the capacity to behave in such a way that they can ever be consistently met.


THE MONSTER.
Hanseok’s monster form is an old evil spirit, a manifestation of the idea of evil that has existed since the start of humanity. It is an it, not a he, she, or them—the spirit is something very primitive and ancient, what elemental iron is to a steel vehicle. It lacks the higher thought processes that something like a siren or werewolf might have; its mind is closer to an animal’s than a human’s. It can reason, but it has no feelings; it is clever, but it cannot communicate and forms no attachments. Most of its conscious experience is an ongoing state of primal want and thirst.

The spirit seeks violence and human blood, convinced that doing so will make it feel. However, it is doomed to forever walk the earth unsatisfied, because it was ‘built’ incapable of the very feelings it seeks.

The spirit manifests as a noncorporeal void that absorbs all light, most often shaping itself into the general image of a coyote with glowing white eyes. Its consistency is smokelike, or like ink in water, bleeding at the edges as though continually dissolving into its environment. Because it has no physical form it cannot be attacked; it can touch but cannot be touched; it can affect its environment but is impervious to rain, wind, et cetera because it is not a part of the landscape but a hole in the landscape in the shape of an object.

The spirit usually possesses the bodies of people and intelligent animals and uses them to make its kills; people prone to greed, callousness, or anhedonia are particularly at risk. If a person is possessed or ‘puppeted’ by the spirit, they form an empathic bond with it and experience the fleeting euphoria Hanseok gets when he commits a murder: the feeling the spirit is chasing. None of it drips down to the spirit itself, like rain opposite a window from a dried-out houseplant, so it continues to its streak of violence indefinitely.

It does not, however, strictly need to possess a body to go about its bidding. In its coyote form it can attack like any other dog, killing or mutilating its victims not through magic but through physical trauma, usually blood loss from its bites; despite existing as a void, its teeth are very real and very sharp. It could theoretically shape itself into any number of other things to very its attacks into something like slashing with talons or crushing with large jaws, but that has yet to be necessary, so it has not yet deviated from its usual shape.

The spirit cannot be fought with physical means, only magical ones. It can, however, be warded off with talismans made from human hair taken from the scalp of people Hanseok himself unconsciously perceives as truly ‘off limits’ for killing, of which only a few are likely to occur in one lifetime.

In its coyote form, the evil spirit cannot sexually engage to break the curse; it can only do so in its least concrete form, in which it is a nebulous, shapeless shadow. It can shape parts of its essence into hands for short periods of time, but most of its intimate contact takes the shape of possession-like encounters such as that depicted in the famous Rennaissance sculpture ‘The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa’.

In the earliest stages of the curse Hanseok begins to lose his physical needs: thirst, hunger, fatigue. His body begins to leave the physical plane, starting with his fingertips darkening and growing steadily wispier and blacker until they move like smoke rising from candles. His eartips act much the same, elongating until human ears are replaced with much larger, upright canid ones. Once physical transformations begin, his hearing and smell improve and the distance of the furthest edge of his field of vision begins to recede. His eyes take on a faint glow.

Only in the last parts of the pre-transformation curse do his thoughts begin to grow more primal. What little impulse control he had to begin with begins to decay and he acts on virtually every violent thought he has. In the last few days before he transforms entirely, his thoughts are consumed almost exclusively with violent urges as his brain turns itself over to the monster's extreme amplification of his own constant need for more.
devilspirit: (Default)
2022-05-28 08:16 pm

INFO.

PLACEHOLDER .
devilspirit: (Default)
2022-05-21 01:39 pm

(no subject)



kinklist
hover over * for more details. underlined kinks are ic faves. G = giving; R = receiving;
S = self; P = partner.

faves
bloodplay, choking (G), cunnilingus, dangerous sex*, emeto (S), frottage, gunplay, hatesex, hypersexuality (S)*, knifeplay, manipulation, marking, midfuck murder fantasies, obsessive dynamics (especially mutual), physical aftercare* (G), possessiveness/jealousy, praise kink (R), rough sex, sadomasochism (G/R), stabbing (R), stalking (G), uneven investment/using others for sex*, unprotected sex*, violence/violent sex, voyeurism (G)*, weight gain (light, S)*

yes
anal sex (G), aphro (SEE NOTE)*, biting, bondage, clothed sex, hair pulling, handcuffs/restraints, oral sex (R)

maybe/ask first
PIV (non-FTB), watersports

no
a/b/o, relationship abuse, emotional aftercare, ageplay/regression, age gaps >15y, cockwarming, cunnilingus, diapers/scat, daddy kink, ddlg/lb, drunk/intoxicated sex, dubcon, gags/blindfolds, guro, exhibitionism, humiliation/degradation, facefucking/facesitting, fisting, lactation, multiple romantic partners, noncon, overstimulation, pegging, raceplay, sub drop, safeword use, shame, snuff, somnophilia, subspace, tentacles/xeno, threesomes, torture, rimming

devilspirit: (Default)
2022-05-16 09:39 pm

OPEN POST.


text | voice | action
devilspirit: (would you do anything for me?)
2022-05-06 12:27 pm

warnings.

Hanseok is a villain capital V diagnosed with ASPD at the age of 16 following a string of murders, and he occupies the furthest and most violent extreme of the disorder's spectrum. He does not and neurologically cannot experience remorse, compassion, or empathy, but he masks extremely well when he makes an effort to and can give the impression of a completely average person who does. He is extremely violent, physically and psychologically abuses his brother, and has committed several gruesome murders.

His sense of danger is warped, leading him to take enormous risks, and when he’s not masking, his reactions to negative emotions are explosive and violent. He frequently shouts, screams, and verbally abuses the people close to him.

Hanseok also comes with several warnings for his own trauma as implied by canon. In light of the facts that his parents showed some belief in clinical psychiatry by paying for ongoing childhood therapy for his brother and that there was a formal diagnosis of ASPD by a psychiatrist following his string of murders, it’s safe to say that the context for his encounter with a clinician was probably time in a max security mental institution, not a therapist's appointment in the free world, during a stay lasting at least a week or two given standard procedure for such cases.

Being that he was a minor with a cluster B disorder and involuntarily admitted - and shown to be extremely combative and resistant when he’s detained in a similar situation in prison, as well as assaulting nurses in a clinical one - it’s safe to say that he’s been both medicated and given tranquilizers without his consent in the past, and will react extremely poorly to any suggestion that he get ‘help’ - because of his deficits and inability to care about the needs or emotions of anyone other than himself, the “problems” that arise from his disorder (hurting the people around him, lack of compassion, etc) aren’t problems to him and don’t need to be fixed. While I don’t necessarily think that he was abused, there are still numerous unavoidable factors involved in involuntary institutionalization that are inherently traumatic, and most Cluster B patients have a much worse experience than others. I write his experience with this as being fairly typical for an adolescent diagnosed with violent ASPD and therefore deeply traumatizing, compounded by being sent to a foreign country in his father's efforts to sweep him under the rug.

He had an extremely poor relationship with his father, who had an affair on his now deceased mother. In any situations in which family comes up, discussion of deep dysfunction and cheating will be present.

I am willing to play Hanseok against his brother, but I am not interested in playing him as a 2D caricature used for endless Hanseo whump. Infantilizing and/or feminizing Hanseo is a dealbreaker for me as although he is not the sharpest crayon in the box he is a grown man and both of those tendencies reek of fetishism to me.

It’s important to note that while he does not care about the pain of others and cannot relate to it, he himself is still fully able to suffer, to feel pain, distress, loneliness, and even affection—to quote Hanseok himself, he still experiences "human emotion". This doesn't mean that he's redeemable, or that his suffering—or mental illness—negates what he does, but he's still a (deeply flawed) human being and I play him as such.

Hanseok loves in a way that falls somewhere between how a cat loves and something deeply obsessive: everything has to be on his terms, at his whim, and people are either disposable to him or the object of deep, unhealthily obsessive infatuation. He doesn't stop to consider that the answer might be no or that the person might just not care for him like that; his perception of how life works is warped by his own narcissism and sense of grandiosity: obviously the other person would want to be with him, and if they don't, he just needs to keep asking until they say yes.

He loves people because of the way they make him feel, or, in very rare cases (his mother being the only one shown) because they've shown him consistent, unconditional affection. Anything less than being the center of a partner's world is unacceptable, and he's prone to very intense possessiveness. He doesn't feel like other people are a threat to him because of his narcissism, but by the same token, he's likely to react very poorly to a partner seeming to show interest in someone else.

Lastly, Hanseok is a very unreliable narrator. His perception of events is warped by grandiosity, intense wrathfulness, and an extreme sense of entitlement. Many things are to him personal slights when they are not intended as such - for instance, one of his victims stealing the ball during a game of soccer in high school.